I used you as a reference, I knew you wouldn’t mind.
We haven’t talked about references much, have we? Let’s talk.
Always Ask
Who is the person you’re closest to in this world? Your significant other? Your Mother? Your child?
Even if your reference is this person, make sure to ask her BEFORE sending anyone her information. Always ask, no matter how sure you are that you can use the person as a reference.
The fact is, you don’t know what this person will say unless you clear it first.
How to Prepare a Reference
If there are specific issues related to your employment, prepare your reference to speak to them. For instance, if the phone screen or interview seemed to focus on your lack of Java experience and your reference person had intimate knowledge of your C# experience, you need your reference person to sell your C# experience if the opportunity to do so presents itself since C# is so similar to Java.
Who to Use
I got a call for a reference on a friend of mine once. The friend used me as a “professional” reference. I had never worked with him before! How am I supposed to recommend his work? The caller was confused, I was confused, and my friend didn’t get the job. Further, he was a little miffed at me making the distinction (professional vs personal) to the caller???
Make sure you use people you’ve worked with for professional references. If a company requests personal references, give them people who can attest to the fullness of your character.
Give People an “Out”
“Will you be a reference for me?”
That’s a little tough to say “no” to, isn’t it? Would we rather a person say “yes” and be uncomfortable giving a reference or find someone else that will stand behind us solidly?
In approaching a person to be a reference, give them an “out”.
- “If you’ve got too much going on, I understand.”
- “I know we didn’t work closely on X technology and that’s what this position is for, so if you don’t feel comfortable, I understand.”
And then understand if they don’t feel comfortable.
People have a million reasons to say no. While this seems like the most personal reflection of the relationship that you have with this person, it’s not. It could be that the person is actually too busy. It could be that the person has anxiety about talking on the phone with someone they don’t know. It could be anything. It’s OK. We’re rather have someone that is comfortable, right?
Specific Positions
Just because a person was willing to be your reference 6 months ago, doesn’t mean they will be now. Check in every 3-6 months.
Also, make sure that you give people a head’s up when they may be getting a call from a particular position. Let them know what company and the specific person that may be calling them, if possible.
Persisting References
My preference is to give references on demand. I don’t like giving recruiting companies my references’ contact info for them to call whenever they feel like it. (Most of the time, however, recruiters will agree to let you know when they will be calling references.) I don’t like putting references on a resume so that the resume can be passed to anyone and everyone on the web or found by anyone with a monster account. My people’s contact information is valuable to them and I treat it like it’s my own, with respect and confidentiality.
Plus, any email address or phone number on the web or in digital form is a beckoning call for spam, winning $500,000 dollars on an African Lottery every week, and learning about distribution of new meds.
Hope this helps, if you have questions, please submit them in the comments. Let us know how we can help in your search! Check out our services and sign-up for coaching or other services.
